


Retail Jobs AU: Christmas Shopping Edition

by pillowcreek



Series: 25 Days of Ficmas [15]
Category: The Bridge (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, Black Friday, Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillowcreek/pseuds/pillowcreek
Summary: It's Black Friday also known as Hell





	Retail Jobs AU: Christmas Shopping Edition

“Alright maggots,” Deep stopped in front of the group of workers and Roger tried not to groan. This pep talk was off to a great start. “One of you will probably die today. My money’s on Frank. Team?” 

“I think it’s going to be Etta,” Percy said. 

Bollard looked like she might hit him. “Are you kidding me? Bertie looks like he’s about to keel over and die.” 

“Yeah, but Etta’s small. Easily trampled.” 

“Guys. It’s going to be Frank.” This came from Nora. 

“Can we stop talking about my potential future death please?” Frank said. 

“Nah, it’s definitely gonna be Etta,” Chad B. said. “Small and trampleable, like Percy said.” 

“He’s literally dying right now, come on. It’s going to be Bertie,” Bollard said. 

Bertie let out a small whimper beside Roger and clutched Etta’s hand tighter. 

“It’ll be okay,” she murmured to him. “We’ve got your back.” 

Roger was relieved that they hadn’t needed to move anyone around today. It meant that he got to keep his team and they stood a chance of making it through the day without Bertie completely breaking down. They just had to get him through the horrible store meeting which the store owner had left in Deep’s very incapable hands. 

“Let’s take a vote on it,” she said. “Everyone who thinks that Etta will die, raise your hand.” 

Chad B., Percy, and Frank raised their hands. 

“Bertie.” 

Bollard raised her hand. 

“Frank.” 

Everyone else in the store raised their hands. 

“Alright, if Frank dies we’re going to use their money to pay for his funeral.” 

“I don’t think we’re the ones expected to pay for his funeral, but okay…” Etta muttered. 

“Move out!” 

Roger lead his team towards the appliance section. “That was the worst speech she’s ever given,” he said. 

“Like you could do better,” Etta said, still holding Bertie’s hand. “You would probably just tell us to do our jobs and not fail miserably.” 

“Etta, be nice,” Bertie said. “Roger’s been working really hard to figure out a way to make today work for all of us.” 

“I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you take today off,” Etta muttered. 

“It’s Black Friday,” he said, shrugging. “They need all the help they can get, even if that help’s panicking and doing a shit job.” 

“You won’t be panicking,” Roger told him. “I’m putting you on stocking duty. You won’t even have to talk to anyone. And you can hide in the back whenever you need a break.” 

“That’ll probably be often…” Bertie said hesitantly. 

“That’s fine. I don’t care what you do today, just look after yourself. We’ll cover for you. I just want you to get through today somewhat sane.” 

“Thanks,” he said quietly. 

Roger glanced over at the rest of his team. Kate was walking slowly behind them, as though resigning herself to the horrible day ahead of her. Laura and Yvette walked beside her, talking quietly to each other. 

“You three ready?” he asked. 

Laura gave him a thumbs-up. “Totally! You know me, boss, I’m always good under pressure.” 

“I’ll make it work,” Kate said. 

“Yvette?” 

“I won’t kill anyone,” she said simply. 

“Sounds like a great plan,” Roger said dryly. 

“Would that count as the death Deep was talking about?” Bertie asked. “If she did kill someone, I mean.” 

“Nah, she said that one of us was probably going to die. Customers don’t count,” Etta said. 

Roger stopped walking. “Alright team, we’re agreeing now. None of us are going to die.” 

“Not sure I can make that promise, Rog,” Bertie said, looking ill. 

“Yeah…” Etta said slowly. “What they were saying about trampling? Totally plausible.” 

“You’re behind a counter,” Roger said. 

“Customers get intense. And what if I go on break? Do you expect me to stay behind there all day?” 

“I’ll carry you to the break room,” Kate said. 

“And Bertie?” 

“He’ll be fine,” Roger said. “I’ll keep an eye on him. Nothing bad’s going to happen. Well, nothing worse than what usually happens on Black Friday, anyways.” 

“You know that people have died on Black Friday before, right?” Yvette said. 

Bertie whimpered and Roger glared at her. “Not helping,” he said. 

Yvette shrugged and headed off to her cash, Laura following after a quick “Good luck!” to the rest of the team. Etta squeezed Bertie’s hand. 

“It’ll be fine,” she said. 

“I hope so…” he said. 

“You’ll do great,” Kate said. “Come on Etta, we should be getting to our cashes too.” 

The two girls headed off to the other cash section. Roger clapped Bertie on the shoulder lightly. “You’ll be fine,” he said again. “Do you want to go hide in the back for the first ten minutes?” 

“Please,” he squeaked. 

Roger nodded and Bertie scurried off to the stockroom. Deep’s voice came through Roger’s walkie. 

“Are you at your doors yet?” she asked. 

“Shit,” he muttered. “Give me a minute,” he said louder into the walkie. 

“One minute but that’s it. These people really want to get in.” 

“Kate!” he yelled. She looked back and he waved her over before running towards the parking lot doors. Outside was a long lineup of people waiting to get in. Kate arrived beside him a few seconds later. 

“Alright, we’re ready,” he said into his walkie. 

“Bring on the hell then,” Deep said back. 

They opened the doors.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @thenightcrowd


End file.
